The Price of Not Apologizing—And a Witty Way to Prevent Backlash

After recently experiencing several poor customer service experiences where an apology would have massively diffused the situation, I was wondering just how much not apologizing costs businesses.

I came across the fascinating and enlightening Carey School of Business’s 2020 “Customer Rage Study” which found that only 37% of unhappy customers felt satisfied when they were offered compensation for their issue.

However, when the business added an apology along with the compensation, satisfaction jumped to 74%.

So when an inevitable situation arises, an upset customer can walk away feeling one of three ways.

ANGRY

Customers leave feeling angry when they receive neither a solution nor an explanation for why a remedy isn’t possible. Without an apology or empathy, they may perceive the lack of resolution as a personal decision by the employee, one who seemingly didn’t care about the situation.

These customers are the most likely to leave negative reviews online, share their experience on social media, and vent their frustrations to their inner circle and networks.

DISAPPOINTED

Customers leave feeling disappointed when they have been listened to, received a sincere apology, and received a clear explanation for why no remedy can be offered.

While these customers may not leave a review, as they feel acknowledged and understand the situation, they may still express their disappointment. If they do post a review, it is likely to be less negative and may appear on a single site rather than across multiple platforms, as is often the case with angry customers.

SATISFIED

Customers leave feeling satisfied when they have been heard, apologized to, and provided with a solution, such as a refund, voucher, or contract release.

These customers are the least likely to leave a negative review, as their issue was resolved, and they felt acknowledged through a genuine apology.

ESTIMATING YOUR IMPACT

Curious how much incidents without apologies or satisfactory solutions might have cost your business?

Give this formula a try:

Tally Negative Mentions

1. Count Your Negative Online Reviews for the past year- across all platforms such as TripAdvisor, Google, Bing, Facebook, Yelp, Yellowpages, etc.
2. Google “your company name reviews” to uncover blogs or posts about your business not on the main review sites. Add a tally for anything you find that wasn’t included in your online review count.
3. Google “your company name Reddit” to see if there’s any discussions on Reddit about you. Add any negative comments to your tally.

Multiply Total of Tally x 43

43 is calculated based on the following formula:

Customer Rage Study found that 865 the average number of friends, followers and contacts across social media individuals have. 5% is the average % of people in a person’s network who sees their content. That results in an average of 43 people who see a person’s negative experience when they are angry and motivated enough to share the poor experience online.

Multiply Total x Average Lifetime Customer Value

That total gives you a rough idea of the potential impact of customers leaving feeling anything other than satisfied, even when something unfortunate happens.

FORMULA

Total # of Found Negative Online Comments, Reviews, Posts & Mentions x 43 x Average Lifetime Customer Value = Your Estimated Price of Not Apologizing

While this is obviously not an exact calculation, it can be a good exercise to put the cost of not preparing your team to handle unfortunate situations into perspective.

The Witty Way to Empower Employees To Think On Their Feet

So how can you be prepared for the inevitable unhappy customer that will grace your business?

The answer isn’t to default to “be kind and the customer is always right.” If the extent of your customer service training is just to make the customer happy, it’s likely ineffective.

Related: 5 Best Practices for Delivering Unparalleled Customer Service

Situations are complex, social media is widespread, and cameras are everywhere. Sometimes, the customer is just plain wrong. Scripted responses won’t work.

Training employees to respond to reviews or hiring a reputation management company isn’t enough either. Poor reviews should never be handled reactively – they should be handled proactively by trying to prevent customers from being angry enough to take their complaints online where they will live forever.

Dealing with customers is challenging in any role, and unpredictable situations often make scripted solutions ineffective or even backfire. This isn’t just true for front-line staff; employees in maintenance, housekeeping, accounting, and back office roles all encounter moments that impact the customer experience.

When companies, especially in hospitality, neglect in-the-moment customer service training that equips every team member to handle difficult situations, they risk damaging their bottom line. By training employees to stay calm, communicate clearly, and listen empathetically, businesses can diffuse tense interactions, leading to happier customers and fewer negative reviews.

In-the-moment improv is an effective type of training that teaches people how to respond in the moment. If you typically think of improv as just comedy, think again. It’s made up of complex understanding of listening, understanding and clarity in communications – all powerful tools in a tense situation.

According to Gina Trimarco, Founder and Trainer at Improvised Intelligence™, a company that provides training for rehumanizing situations and relationships based on improvisation techniques, “diffusing customer dissatisfaction while providing an exceptional guest experience can be mastered using three techniques from improv comedy.

1. Communicate with your eyes, ears, and intuition. Like an improv performer reading their scene partner, spend more time actively listening and observing body language than talking. Give your guest the stage to express their concerns fully.
2. Validate the guest’s feelings and concerns. Once you’ve truly heard their perspective, reflect back what they’ve shared and acknowledge their emotions. While an apology isn’t always needed for subjective feelings, showing genuine understanding is essential.
3. Collaborate with guests to find solutions after validating their concerns. Focus on what you can do rather than can’t, choosing your words carefully to emphasize possibilities. When you’ve listened deeply to what matters most to them, you can often discover solutions that satisfy guests with minimal or no additional cost.”

Learn more about online and in-person Improvised Intelligence™ training options at CarolinaImprov.com

In the end, not apologizing can cost businesses more than they realize—both in revenue and reputation. By training employees across all roles to respond empathetically and use improv techniques to navigate tense situations, companies can turn negative experiences into positive outcomes. Investing in such training not only reduces negative reviews but also builds stronger, more loyal customer relationships.

Apologies benefit your bottom line – prioritize training how to do it right.

Kelley Ellert is the owner of Waterwheel Marketing, a marketing consultancy that develops and implements marketing solutions for hospitality businesses of all sizes. Find her on LinkedIn @kelley-ellert or at WaterwheelMarketing.com.